In my 20s, I was very ambitious. Having babies wasn’t a priority. What’s more, I wasn’t the person I am now. I’m the daughter of an alcoholic and you can’t discount the impact an unstable childhood – the years of chaos – has on your life.
Biologically that’s unfair, and that isn’t going to go away without medical advances. But we can do something about the judgement surrounding women who choose to become mothers later in life.
We need to stop criticising and undermining women and, instead, celebrate their choices, whether that’s having children at 20, waiting until later in life, finding alternative routes to motherhood or remaining child-free.
Three years ago, with the support of my husband, Ercan Ramadan, I decided to be proactive and freeze my eggs for when the time was right. At 35, biologically, I still felt like I was in my prime. That was the first time I heard “geriatric” – the term for a pregnancy occurring any time after a woman is 35.
The term is just one aspect of the medical misogyny that plagues the NHS. I’ve struggled for decades with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), which manifests itself in different ways but, for me, it’s debilitating, causing exhaustion, lethargy, anxiety, brain fog, hopelessness and dark thoughts. Yet I was dismissed and told I was overreacting before I was finally diagnosed five years ago.
I feel passionately that egg freezing should be more affordable and we should be more open about the process. Women deserve to have security and a back-up plan. But I received an awful lot of judgement for my decision, with comments online like, “Just get on with it!” or, “If he doesn’t want to have a kid with you now, he’s never going to want to”.
Ultimately, we need more compassion for women, whatever they choose to do and at whatever stage they choose to do it. We need more understanding, empathy and honest conversations.
Hence then, the article about best time for a baby was published today ( ) and is available on Radio Times ( Middle East ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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