Not Even Snape’s Randomly Chic Windbreaker Will Get Me To Watch The ‘Harry Potter’ Series ...Middle East

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What in the Everlane am I looking at here? Why is Snape giving Balenciaga? What are we doing? This is all I can handle today. Listen, I would love to talk about how the potions master is canonically a thirty-something in the Harry Potter books, and now “finally” on screen as well. It makes his bad ‘tude towards his schoolboy crush and bully’s kid a little more understandable, don’t you think? His frontal lobe is, like, barely developed. Nothing would make me happier than to be excited for the age-appropriate actors this series chooses for Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Dress them up in Zara’s finest too, if that’s how this mess of a show is gonna go. In a kinder world, I would be so hyped.

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