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Melissa Auf der Maur spent most of her career playing bass in bands such as Hole and The Smashing Pumpkins, standing in support behind lead singers including Courtney Love and Billy Corgan, respectively.
Now, Auf der Maur is stepping out front and center, sharing what life was like in the rock scene of the ’90s, crossing paths with the likes of Nirvana, Jane’s Addiction, Pavement and Sonic Youth in her new memoir, Even the Good Girls Will Cry: A ’90s Rock Memoir. The bassist’s book is available for preorder now on Amazon for $30 and at Barnes & Noble for $32.50. A Kindle version is also available for $19.50. Readers are treated to an up-close-and-personal look at Auf der Maur’s life from her bohemian upbringing in Montreal to scoring her life-changing opening slot for The Smashing Pumpkins alongside Corgan.
While looking at the ’90s rock scene through her perspective is pretty amazing, what stood out for us was her romance with Dave Grohl, the former drummer for Nirvana and frontman for Foo Fighters. The relationship lasted three years, from 1999 to 2001, and the pair seemingly ended on good terms, according to Auf der Maur. “Since our one-night stand almost a year before, Dave and I would occasionally text. Our exchanges were simple and didn’t amount to much more than ‘Hi! I am making a record, how are you? ‘Hello! I’m fine and on tour,'” Auf der Maur revealed in her writings.
'Even the Good Girls Will Cry: A '90s Rock Memoir'
$30 $32.50 8% off Buy Now On Amazon $32.50 Buy Now at Barnes & Noble
A memoir by Melissa Auf der Maur, bass player for the bands Hole and The Sashing Pumpkins.
“Here was a nice, direct person who had decided he wanted me, then courted and pursued me and offered me a connection, and what felt like a cosmic musical bond helped me receive it,” Auf der Maur added. In an interview on Sirius XM Radio in 2023, the bassist shared more about her relationship with her fellow musician, stating that in the 1990s, the pair was “madly in love.”
It made sense why the duo clicked. They shared a lot in common, from their links to Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain to facing rock n’ roll fame in the ’90s. “There was quite possibly no other person in the world who shared the same slice of madness that emerged from the nexus of Kurt, Courtney, suicide and heroin-infused ‘rock music meets mainstream mayhem’ we had both experienced. We never spoke about it. We didn’t need to,” Auf der Maur wrote.
Auf der Maur joined Hole for the band’s 1994 Live Through This world tour just after the deaths of Kurt Cobain and Hole’s prior bassist, Kristen Pfaff. The musician was with the band for five years before leaving to pursue a role in The Smashing Pumpkins for a stint until the band’s initial breaking at the end of its Machina tour.
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