Sexual desire, says Yazmin Fox Eisen, is not unlike being hungry. “Sexual desire is the most strong desire after wanting to eat something,” she says. “It’s as natural to have sex as it is to sit down at the dinner table and eat. And you’re not ashamed of eating.”
Eisen is a sexologist and relationship therapist from Denmark, a country whose citizens are said to have some of the most active sex lives in the world. The 57-year-old founded Sexologiskolen (The International Academy of Sexology and Relationship Therapy) in 2009, an institute that teaches people to become sexologists, relationship therapists, and specialists in intimacy.
And she believes there is one primary reason the Danes – free, she believes, of shame around their most carnal, most ravenous desires – are having more sex: equality.
“We’re not [totally] there yet,” she says. “But no [man] in their clear mind would say to a woman, ‘I’m worth more because I’m a man’ and no woman would say, ‘I’m worth more because I’m a woman.’” This “essence” of equality in the country, this “rising consciousness” that we are all worth the same is, says Eisen, what makes Danish sex lives so, well, sexy. “It’s a kind of kindness,” she explains, proudly.
This “flat structure”, as she describes it, across society has led to women feeling far more in control of their sex lives than, arguably, they do elsewhere.
‘Women in Denmark go for their orgasms’
Unlike in other countries, where both female pleasure and casual sex are often shunned or shamed, in Denmark, women aren’t afraid to go out and get what they want. “They go for it,” says Eisen, “They don’t have the same kind of guilt or shame or [feel] they have to follow tradition and be very nice girls and [not] live their sexual life: they go for their orgasms.”
But how many women – and men, in fact – are “going for their orgasms” in Denmark? And how much does this actually differ from other nations? Well, a 2020 YouGov poll found that, in the UK, just a quarter of people across all age gaps said they’d had sex in the past week. Compared with the Danish figures – nearly half of straight men and 43 per cent of straight women, across all ages – the difference is rather stark. Perhaps more staggering, a US study from 2023 found that 24 per cent of adults aged 18 to 29 reported no sexual activity in the past year: more drought than dry spell.
“It’s as natural to have sex as it is to sit down at the dinner table and eat,” says EisenOf course, there may well be multiple reasons as to why Danes are getting it on more than we are. The country, for example, consistently takes one of the top spots in the United Nations World Happiness Report: in 2025, it was number two (the UK, incidentally, came in at a lowly number 23). One might, indeed, posit its citizens’ vibrant sex lives are why it scores (pardon the pun) so highly in a happiness contest but, perhaps, it is actually because the country is so happy that they, well, score at all.
‘It’s a matter of being a little closer with less clothing’
The country offers free university tuition, no-fee public healthcare, and subsidised childcare. An ordinary working week is 37 hours and workers, typically, get a minimum of five weeks holiday a year. There is also a focus on community and social trust. As Eisen, without a shred of irony, tells me: “We love to come together.”
The country, she goes on, has lots of different societies where people unite to share an experience, be that a hobby, parenting, a joint passion. Known as “foreninger”, these clubs are an essential part of Danish life: around 90 per cent of Danes belong to at least one. “They’re like a positive glue between people,” says Eisen. “And when we talk about sex, it’s just a matter of being a little bit closer with a little less clothing.”
And it is, perhaps, exactly because Denmark is a high-trust society that its citizens have become confident – courageous, even – in the face of shame.
She tells me of a woman, Danish journalist Emma Holten, who, in 2011, had intimate photos of herself posted on the internet without her consent. Her response? To enlist the services of a photographer and have new, consensual photos taken. The pictures were later published in a Danish magazine. “She took her control back,” says Eisen. “Women realise, ‘My God, I have a sex life, this is my body, this is me who’s deciding what to do with it and who to be with’.”
This sex-positivity isn’t limited to heterosexual relationships, of course. Eisen tells me Denmark is an “inviting and inclusive place”, making it an LGBTQ+ friendly country, unlike others across the world. “It’s not just something we do because we’re kind and don’t know what else to do,” she says.
‘I never judge my children and always listen’
Lots of this starts with education in school but also at home. Although Danish pupils are taught about sex in school – and it is gradually becoming more sex-positive and less merely functional – Eisen also says she had open conversations with her children (aged 27, 25, 21, and 18) at home when they were younger.
“I think the most important thing is that from an early age we have told them that they can come to us with everything,” she explains. “I’ve never judged [them] and I’ll always listen.”
The more you listen, she says, the more they are able to find their own way, and it’s not just about sex. “It’s also about 52 ways to break up, how to navigate your relationships, or what to do now because I have a boyfriend but I would like to go travelling,” she says. “They can come to you, they can lean on you, but they can more and more find their own way because they trust their own feet and guts and hearts. I think that’s really beautiful.”
In the end, a good sex life boils down to communication and, says Eisen, the Danes are brilliant at that. While we, in the UK, may see a visit to a sex and relationship therapist as a sign a relationship is failing, in Denmark, it’s the opposite. Eisen compares it to the way in which we have all become more comfortable with visiting professionals to talk about our mental health.
“They were called freaks,” she says. “Now it’s more like… ‘Oh, I went to a relationship therapist to talk about my communication problems with my husband, or that we didn’t have sex after we had child number two. And it’s more a sign of… taking responsibility for your relationship. How beautiful. What a great example. Good for you.”
Perhaps, then, we can learn a lot from Denmark and its healthy sexual appetite. Certainly Eisen herself is satisfied: she is the breadwinner and her husband the cook. Equality – it seems – keeps all desires well fed.
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