Once upon a time, fingering was one of the main characters of sex. When it happened in your parents' basement or the backseat of a car, it felt the way pleasure is supposed to feel: hot, new, and exciting. But somewhere along the way, fingering got lost in the kiss-to-fuck pipeline. It became an afterthought, something many of us demoted to a brief, optional stop during foreplay. And that, my friends, is a travesty.
When fingering is done well, it is the sex. It's intimate, low-pressure, and capable of delivering some great orgasms. Sure, some people are bad at it (and that's probably how it lost its appeal in the first place), but fingering doesn't deserve to be written off. If anything, it's worthy of a comeback tour. With help from sex expert Nicole Moore, here's how to put some respect back on its name.
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Nicole Moore is a relationship therapist and founder of the Love Works Method, a program that has helped people find lasting love fast.
A Case for Fingering
We should be incorporating our fingers more during sex for one simple reason: because it feels good. Whether by itself or in combination with a tongue, fingering is a great way to warm up the body for more pleasure or reach orgasm right then and there. "Adding non-intercourse forms of pleasure into your sex life can make it feel more well-rounded and interesting," Moore says. Plus, it can often feel better for those with tighter vaginal canals or conditions like endometriosis, she adds.
Unlike a penis or sex toy, fingers tend to offer more control and precision, too. Depending on what you like, they can go slower or faster, apply more or less pressure, move to the right or to the left, and generally respond better to what your body wants in real time. The problem? Too many people don't know how to properly finger.
According to Moore, it starts by learning the "come hither" motion. "Insert two fingers into the vagina with your palm facing upward and glide them back toward you while applying pressure upward," she says. "This movement can really stimulate the G-spot and provide intensely pleasurable sensations."
With this in mind, avoid fingering in a straight in-and-out motion. Instead, curl your fingers. The motion is less about how fast you move in-and-out and more about how you stimulate the vaginal wall once your finger(s) are inside. "Favor slower movements with more controlled pressure," Moore adds.
To really elevate your finger game, combine the fingering motion with your tongue or a sex toy on the clitoris. (Yes, this is the two-fingers-and-a-tongue combo you may have seen on TikTok lately.) As you move your fingers inside, apply pressure to your partner's clitoris via a tongue or sex toy for a blended orgasm.
Like many things, fingering takes practice. What works for one partner may not work for the next. And since exploration is half the fun of sex in the first place, that's kind of the point. At the end of the day, better sex isn't always about adding something new to your routine. Sometimes, it's about revisiting something, even if you haven't done it since high school.
Related: How to Have Sex With Your Friends (and Not Fuck It Up) Taylor Andrews is the senior balance editor at Popsugar, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.Hence then, the article about a case for fingering was published today ( ) and is available on popsugar ( Middle East ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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