Sometimes, saying certain words or phrases becomes part of our daily routine, like brushing our teeth. Yet, unlike minty-fresh breath, some things people say in conversation can drive others away and even make you come across as "instantly unlikable."It sounds harsh, but rest assured, etiquette experts say it with the utmost grace."Modern etiquette is not about perfection—it is about awareness," explains Reneille Velez, the founder of GIAN Events. "The way we speak reveals how we handle accountability, respect differing perspectives, and navigate moments of tension. In high-stakes environments, language directly affects trust."Velez says that a single phrase can steady a high-stakes situation or raise the temperature."Understanding how words land is essential to being perceived as credible, professional and socially intelligent," she shares.To help you come across like that, we asked four etiquette experts to share the things people say in conversation that make them instantly unlikable. They reveal the 13 words and phrases on their no-fly lists—plus, the simple phrase that automatically raises your likability factor.Related: 10 Social Behaviors That Make You Seem Unapproachable, According to Etiquette Experts
13 Things People Say in Conversations That Make Them Instantly Unlikable, Etiquette Experts Warn
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2. 'Whatever.'
"Whatever" is another one-word instant turn-off, primarily because it's dismissive."Dismissive language closes conversation," emphasizes Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert. "It often comes from frustration, but reads as disrespect."
4. 'I just say what everyone else is thinking.'
It's best to speak for yourself."Drawing others in to your attack doesn't help, soften the blow or make whatever you're about to say less rude," Dreizen states. "Additionally, maybe consider why others aren't expressing the point as you are—are they trying to be thoughtful and consider their impact, maybe?"
6. 'It's not that big of a deal.'
"I once watched this phrase derail an entire leadership meeting in under 30 seconds," reports Julie Schniers, a communication expert, leadership speaker and culture strategist.Indeed, this one is an equally unlikable cousin of "you're too sensitive." In fact, she calls it "subtle but powerful.""This phrase minimizes someone else’s experience, even if the speaker is trying to help," she explains. "The truth is, your idea of a big deal and mine are going to be different, and that’s OK."Related: People Who Struggle With Self-Awareness Often Display These 8 Behaviors, Psychologists Say
8. 'I already know that.'
Two thumbs down if you interrupt someone to say this unlikable phrase."Interrupting to assert knowledge rarely reads as confidence," Velez reports. "More often, it signals insecurity and impatience. Polished communicators understand that allowing someone to finish speaking is a fundamental sign of respect."
10. 'It’s not my fault.'
Velez highlights that accountability builds trust, but defensiveness destroys it. This phrase is 100% defensive. "Deflecting responsibility when something falls short is one of the quickest ways to lose credibility," she shares.
12. 'Must be nice.'
Schniers says people often say this one to sound funny or even to compliment someone, but it usually carries "quiet resentment.""It usually appears when someone feels stretched, overlooked or insecure," she explains. “The reality of this phrase is that it communicates comparison and judgment. In both personal relationships and workplace culture, comparison language creates distance rather than connection. Even when meant as humor, it lands as a subtle dismissal."
13. 'I don’t have time for this.'
To make a stellar first impression, try using the phrase "That is fascinating—can you tell me more about that?" "Curiosity, interest and warmth are the key to connection," Dreizen says. "Showing real interest in another person is how you build friendship and community."Schniers is also a fan of the phrase, "Tell me more.""This works at home, at work and everywhere in between," she explains. "As a coach, it’s a phrase I use often because more information, more understanding, more time to lean in and let someone else be truly heard is not just a gift, it’s a tool."Up Next:
Related: If You Say These 7 Things Regularly, People May Think You’re Difficult to Be Around, Psychologists Warn
Sources:
Genevieve (Jenny) Dreizen is an etiquette expert, the COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry and the author of Simple Scripts to Support Your People: What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say.Reneille Velez is a party planning expert, entrepreneur and the founder of GIAN Events, a "multi-market experience agency."Julie Schniers is a communication expert, leadership speaker and culture strategist.Elaine Swann is an etiquette expert.Hence then, the article about 13 things people say in conversations that make them instantly unlikable etiquette experts warn was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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