The questions start as soon as you announce a pregnancy. “Will you be moving out?” No. “Maybe before they start school though?” Still no.
“Well, you say that now…”
Even now my children are eight and five, the question continues to come up all the time among friends old and new.
I promise I’m not going to change my mind. I’ve been a Londoner for 20 years and I’m convinced it’s the best place of all to raise youngsters. What’s more, all the evidence backs me up.
The constant interrogation among London parents about whether you’re planning a new life in the country comes from a good place – sometimes from concern, about cost and perceived risk; sometimes fear of being abandoned by yet another friend – and it certainly comes from experience too. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Since I had my first child in 2017, many families we’ve known have upped and left for pastures new.
The push factors are very real: house prices for the average family property are higher in London than almost (but not quite) everywhere else in the country. But the draws are the ones everyone mentions: a slower pace of life, a smaller community, greater access to green space, the wild countryside, maybe to the coast. When they put it like that, it sounds idyllic.
Personally, I’m immune to this romanticism. I grew up in a rural area and I remember only too well the reality of childhood in a quiet, beautiful place and I want no part of it for my own family. My family moved from the bustling city of York to a tiny Oxfordshire village with one shop and a single bus service that ran once every two hours. I was eight years old and my new primary school had only 40 children. At first it was idyllic: new friends, the space to walk and cycle everywhere safely, without the risks of traffic or pollution, walks by the river and lots of freedom to explore.
But later came the teen years – and for a young person trying to gain some independence it was a personal hell. Most of my friends lived 30 minutes’ drive away, all outings and get togethers had to be arranged with at least a few days’ notice in order to co-ordinate transport. As I got older nights out to the nearest town or city had to be cut short so I didn’t miss the last train. Of course, being a teenager, sometimes I did miss the last train, leaving a parent driving in the rain at midnight on a Friday night, 45 minutes in each direction, just to collect me from a windswept, closed-up train station. Not brilliantly safe for me, admittedly, but utterly tedious for my parents.
This is exactly what happened to business coach Hannah Spence, 36, when she moved from the capital to Maidstone in Kent with her two children during 2020 – a choice she now sometimes regrets. “The decision felt practical on paper – the pace, affordability, grammar schools – but the experience has been far more layered,” she admits. “For the past five years I’ve essentially been a full-time taxi driver, ferrying my teenager everywhere in the absence of decent public transport. When he finally passed his driving test last month that felt as liberating for me as it did for him.”
The family have also felt the cultural shift to life outside London to be tricky too. “There have been real gains living here, but also moments of regret, grief and mixed emotions that I know many parents quietly hold but don’t always say out loud,” Spence says.
It’s not only the brilliant public transport that keeps me here, though. The evidence proves that a London childhood is brilliant for young minds: the teachers are better, the state schools outperform the rest of the country and the opportunities for work, further education and entertainment are brilliant.
Of the 50 best state schools in the country, 17 are in London. Last year, sixth formers at Brampton Manor, a school in one of the poorest areas in east London, outperformed their fellow students at Eton. Over half the pupils in the school achieved a full set of A* or A grades at A Level.
Even if you’re not enrolled in one of those elite performers your kids are in very safe hands in the capital’s schools. For more than two decades now, schools in London have been outperforming the rest and the gap is continuing to grow. The London region has the highest proportion of state school pupils obtaining good GCSEs, the highest percentage of schools rated as “outstanding” by Ofsted before that system was changed and the highest GCSE attainment for pupils from poorer backgrounds.
The good work starts from the first school days – in the 2023/24 academic year, 69 per cent of London primary pupils met the expected standard in reading, writing and maths combined, compared to 62 per cent nationally – but really comes into its own during the secondary school years. Schools in England are judged by a score called “progress 8”, which measures how well children should do based on their ability when they arrive aged 11 against their actual GCSE results. In London, schools are outperforming this prediction: pupils do better than they were expected to do, meaning their progress improves in the capital’s secondaries. In every other area of England, the average 16-year-old does worse than they should have done.
Why are London’s schools so good? There are lots of reasons: teachers in London are paid more and more likely to stay in the profession longer, many are more highly trained due to being recruited through the Teach First programme which has more placements in London than anywhere else and only takes higher class graduates. The number of schools on offer also mean it’s easier to find a school culture that suits your particular child.
Meanwhile, when your kids are outside school there’s so much more for them to do – and that stops them getting into as much trouble. Being so close to the best museums, theatres, art galleries, parks and historical buildings is a huge resource. Almost all offer at least some events that are free of charge to kids, teens or families. Whatever their interests, there are things to keep them diverted from the usual teen distractions. A 2023 survey found that across England, 13 per cent of 11- to 15-year-old pupils had tried drugs. A study in 2024 in London found that only 8 per cent of boys and 10 per cent of girls of secondary-school age had taken drugs in the last year. I’m not surprised: there’s no bigger push to temptation than boredom.
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When it comes to young adulthood, the transition is also easier for London’s kids with every possible path open to them close to home, be it further study or getting started in a career. That’s why 47-year-old finance coach Sarah McCalden – who moved her family from Croydon, south London, to Newcastle just three years ago – is considering coming back.
Her eldest child is now 16 and studying digital design in sixth-form college. “Where are the jobs for that kind of thing? They’re all in Soho,” she says. The family have saved money by moving to the North East but wonder if the savings were all worth it. “I do really miss London and the way of thinking. I also feel my children are missing out on more opportunities. Yes, we live near the beach and a 15 minute drive from the countryside, but how often do we actually use it? I think that having a different kind of culture and open mindedness, that more positive way of thinking, outweighs the cost.”
Of course, there are many reasons why you might want to swap London for rural life: more affordable housing, a slower pace of life, a chance to walk your dogs in a different place every day. Just don’t claim that you’re doing it for the kids.
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