Four years ago, I genuinely thought I was losing my mind. Not in the “oh, I’m a bit forgetful these days” sense, but in a way that felt frightening and at times, destabilising. My once reliable memory began to slip, and, being in my early forties, it was worrying.
Words disappeared mid-sentence. Thoughts dissolved just as I reached for them. I’d walk into a room and forget why I was there, or re-read the same email three times and still not process it. Once the highly organised mum, I started forgetting important things that the kids needed or were meant to be doing. At night, my brain raced even when my body was exhausted, and by morning I felt hollowed out, anxious and permanently on edge.
Add relentless hot flushes and broken sleep to that mix, and it’s no wonder my mental health took a hit. I felt foggy, irritable, and convinced something more serious was going on. Dementia crossed my mind more than once, and although I didn’t say it out loud often, the fear sat there, humming in the background.
That’s why my reaction to today’s news, linking menopause to changes in the brain that may help explain women’s increased risk of dementia, wasn’t alarm. It was relief.
The study suggests menopause may be associated with a loss of grey matter in parts of the brain involved in memory, emotion and thinking. Reading that, I felt an unexpected sense of calm. These findings offered validation. There is now some real science behind what so many women experience and are too often brushed off for.
Crucially, it also made me reflect on what changed when I started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) two years after my initial symptoms began and after an almost missed costume for “Greek Day” at school. Because for me, the difference was noticeable. It was gradual, over a few months; not only did the hot flushes reduce significantly but proper and restorative sleep returned. And as my nights improved, so did my anxiety. That constant sense of dread, the lack of self-confidence, and the racing thoughts began to soften. I felt more like myself again.
What surprised me most, though, was my memory. The fog didn’t vanish overnight, but it lifted. I could hold onto thoughts again. Conversations flowed more easily. I wasn’t searching for words with the same desperation or second-guessing myself constantly. I felt sharper, more confident, more present.
That’s why hearing that HRT may help slow certain cognitive decline feels important, even if it’s not a magic shield against dementia. It’s not about promising women protection from future disease. It’s about acknowledging that hormonal changes can profoundly affect how we think, feel and function.
For too long, “brain fog” has been minimised, joked about, or dismissed as stress – something I was initially told was the problem. But when your mental functioning shifts so dramatically that it affects your work, relationships, and self-trust, it’s anything but funny. The fear is real. And without clear explanations, it’s debilitating.
This research doesn’t give us all the answers, but it gives us something. It says we’re not alone.
Yes, the link between menopause and dementia is serious and warrants further research. But there’s something deeply reassuring about seeing women’s lived experiences reflected in science at last.
My hope is that this sparks action: better education for GPs, earlier conversations, more nuanced discussions about HRT, and greater recognition that menopause is more than a minor inconvenience.
Because clarity, especially after years of fog, is powerful. And women deserve far more of it.
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