DEAR MISS MANNERS: I got married recently. It is a second marriage for both of us, but our first weddings were two decades ago, and we wanted to have a special event that really felt like a wedding.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: Why does this keep happening to me in the ladies’ room? Miss Manners: May I use my full height and stern voice to enforce elevator decorum? Miss Manners: How can I respond with dignity when they whisper about my husband? Miss Manners: What should I say to a woman who has defaced herself with a tattoo? Miss Manners: People should know that it’s now impolite to say ‘you’re welcome’We paid for the whole thing ourselves. It was simple and relatively small, but it was definitely and unambiguously a wedding: We sent paper invitations, had a catered meal and an open bar, and I wore a big white wedding gown.
On our wedding website, and when asked in person, we said, “No gifts, please” (we have plenty of stuff!), but we also provided a list of our favorite nonprofits if anyone wanted to make a donation. We also planned to make donations in honor of our guests, in lieu of favors, and will share that with folks in our thank-you cards.
As expected, some people gave gifts anyway, some made donations and some wrote lovely cards. All good, right?
Not quite. What has us absolutely befuddled is the number of guests who did nothing at all. These guests spanned generations, so it couldn’t be chalked up to “kids these days” or any sort of age-related etiquette. Many of these are the kinds of folks who regularly write cards and give gifts. It’s enough people that we genuinely wondered whether a pile of cards got lost at the end of the night.
I know we probably just need to let this go, but it rankles. I cannot imagine showing up completely empty-handed to any party — much less a wedding! — and not even taking the time to write a basic congratulatory message.
We truly and absolutely do not want gifts, but is it wrong to want people to take five minutes to write a card? Is there any polite way to figure out what the heck happened (and if maybe cards did get lost)?
And if not, or if it turns out a whole lot of friends and family just failed to do even the most minimal thing to honor our wedding (and marriage), how do we get over this?
GENTLE READER: Try really, really hard.
Your guests followed your explicit instructions. And as insulting as you seem to find it that they did not also guess at your unstated ones, you have not convinced Miss Manners that a crime was committed.
Related Articles
Dear Abby: My new hobby makes me happy. My husband strongly disapproves. Asking Eric: These old men are annoying but I can’t afford to alienate them Harriette Cole: I think he coerced my daughter into an open relationship Miss Manners: Why does this keep happening to me in the ladies’ room? Dear Abby: I said yes to doing her wedding hair, and now my feelings are hurtPerhaps, however, she can ease your mind by offering some reasonable explanations: Some people do not wish to make a donation in someone else’s name to someone else’s charity. Some people are not card writers. And some people saw “No gifts” and stopped reading entirely.
Rather than focus on your very good friends and family who understood the subliminal messaging, you are intent on admonishing the ones who did not. Please get over that.
But if you cannot, the good news is that you seem to have found a life partner who feels similarly. May you two have a long and happy life together focusing on your various grudges.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Hence then, the article about miss manners i told my wedding guests no gifts but i didn t predict what would happen was published today ( ) and is available on mercury news ( Middle East ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( Miss Manners: I told my wedding guests no gifts, but I didn’t predict what would happen )
Also on site :