"People always ask me this, and I feel like the answer is obvious," Tomlinson captions an Instagram clip of the interview segment.
"I would not masturbate; I heard it's not as good," she smirked. "Sucks for you guys."
"I would probably just walk around all night," she half-joked, laughing with the crowd.
View this post on InstagramIt's a reality borne out by numerous surveys and studies. Of course, it's worth noting that walking down dark streets can be risky for people across the entire gender spectrum. But a 2025 global safety report by Gallup found that women are significantly more likely than men to report feeling unsafe walking alone at night. Roughly 32 percent of women worldwide said they did not feel safe, compared with 21 percent of men.
What is quite funny, however, is the comments thread of the Instagram post, where women around the world have shared what else they would do if they could be men for a day.
Others shared laundry lists of items, from confidently applying for jobs for which they're not qualified to "manspreading" on the subway.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, "pee while standing up" is quite a common comment.
If nothing else, Tomlinson's hypothetical day as a man would end with peace of mind despite no game plan, no group chat on standby, no fake phone calls, and no deep emotional bond with the keys between the knuckles. Whatever the case, we're confident that, by the end of the day, she'd turn the experience into solid stand-up material.
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