Sometimes I feel like being a teenager is just trying to keep up with a constantly changing body and brain, while everyone expects you to have it all together.
While collecting responses for a questionnaire, one answer that really stuck with me came from my classmate Jareth. He said that when someone new wants to be his friend, the first thing he notices is how they act and talk, if they feel “safe” to be around. He’s careful, not paranoid — it’s just how he protects himself.
Reading that made me realize how many of us go through our days quietly guarding ourselves, even when we wish we didn’t have to.
A big part of teenage insecurity is just feeling out of place. Sometimes it hits in small ways, like avoiding the mirror or hesitating to speak up in class. Other times it’s bigger, like wondering if your friends really like you or if your parents understand you at all.
Most of the time, it’s a mix of both. You know something isn’t wrong, but it doesn’t feel right either.
Social media doesn’t help
We scroll through highlight reels of everyone else’s lives — perfect selfies, big achievements, endless parties — and it’s hard not to compare.
That comparison is sneaky. It makes you question yourself, even if you know deep down that everyone’s life looks perfect online but isn’t. It’s like being told you’re not enough, over and over, without anyone saying it out loud.
Identity is another messy part. You’re supposed to “know who you are,” but really, everything is changing: your values, your interests, your friendships, even the way you see yourself.
I’ve tried being louder, quieter, more confident, more chill — just trying to find a version of me that feels right. When none of them fit perfectly, it’s easy to feel insecure. And honestly, that pressure to have it all figured out can be exhausting.
The battle with our own bodies
Our bodies can be their own battlefield, too.
Growth spurts, acne, voice cracks, weight changes… sometimes I don’t even recognize myself. And what really gets you isn’t the change itself, but thinking you’re supposed to look or act a certain way. That gap between reality and what you think you should be can make you feel like you’re failing at yourself, even though you’re just growing.
External stuff doesn’t help either. A joke from a friend, a careless comment from a parent, a rude remark online, they all stick. Teens hear those things and sometimes believe them more than their own perceptions. Slowly, they build up, and you start hiding pieces of yourself just to feel safe.
At the center of most teenage insecurity is wanting to belong. Everyone wants a place, a friend group, or just a side of life that feels like home.
When that’s unclear, we start living split lives — the version of us we show and the version we keep hidden. That split can be exhausting, but it’s also kind of normal.
So this isn’t a conclusion. It’s more like a pause, a reminder that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. The awkward moments, the doubts, the in-between parts, they’re all proof that we’re still becoming.
And the best part is, we can take our time.
Natalie Sedano Moreno is a student at Helix Charter High School.
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