Dying alone is one of mankind’s great fears. Ideally, we’d all pass on with cherished loved ones by our side, our entry into the afterlife gilded by their warmth and care. The thought of departing this mortal plane in an empty room without another soul around is the stuff of Dickensian bleakness.
No surprise then that a new app from China called Are You Dead? has captured attention around the world.
Here’s the idea behind it: users must log on and press a big green button to indicate that they’re still alive. If they miss two consecutive days or more, the app notifies their chosen emergency contact and asks them to check in on you.
The message alert received by that contact reads: “I’ve been inactive for multiple consecutive days. Come check my physical condition.” (There’s no indication of what to do if you forget to mark yourself as alive or skip a few days by accident – which surely will have led to some false scares.) Appropriately or not, depending on how black your sense of humour is, the app logo for Are You Dead? is a cutesy ghost in a sheet.
As someone who lives alone and works from home, I find myself morbidly fascinated by this app. It’s not uncommon for me to go an entire working day without speaking face to face with someone. Going out to grab a quick coffee or walking my dog allows me the occasional brief flicker of interaction with a barista or neighbour, but it’s hardly the stuff of deep, soul-searching human connection. Of course, I chat to friends and loved ones on WhatsApp every day – but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wondered about how long they’d take to notice if I stopped responding.
I’d wager that exact same kernel of fear and paranoia is behind the explosive growth of Are You Dead?. The app is now number one in China and ranks as one of the top paid-for apps in the US, Singapore, Australia, Hong Kong and Spain. It’s available internationally as Demumu, presumably because its Chinese developers thought that foreign users wouldn’t understand the play on words in its name. (Its Mandarin name, Sile Me, is a pun on the popular food delivery app Ele.me, which takes its name from the oft-used phrase for “are you hungry?”).
It’s thought to be especially popular among the growing number of young Chinese people living alone, both in China and overseas. One Beijing user downloaded the app after moving away from his wife and child for work. “I worry that if something happened to me, I could die alone in the place I rent and no one would know,” he told the BBC.
One-person households like mine are increasingly the norm around the world. There are more people living alone right now than at any other point in human history. In countries like Sweden, solo fliers make up the majority of household arrangements.
There’s no singular explanation for why home living has drastically changed this much over the last century – economic migration, a rapidly ageing population and the relationship recession have all been mooted as factors.
Female economic empowerment plays a part too – women like me no longer have to rely on a partner (or a housemate) in order to keep a roof over our heads. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t view this as a bad thing. Though I’m a relative newbie to solo living, I wouldn’t give it up for the world.
There’s something infinitely satisfying about knowing that I’m the only one responsible for my space. Water my plants at midnight? Sure. Rearrange the spice drawer at two in the afternoon? Fine. Leave clothes to fester on a dryer rack for days? It’s not like my dog can judge me.
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Those are the plus sides to living alone. The downsides include the occasional moment of loneliness, a jolt when someone knocks a little bit too loudly on the door, and the crushing realisation that you’re on your own if something goes wrong or needs to be fixed or built (which partly explains why it took me two months to fully assemble the desk I’m currently writing from).
I think these cons are broadly outweighed by the freedom to do what I want, when I want. But I certainly wouldn’t judge anybody who downloads this app – I’m all too familiar with the impulses behind it. Are You Dead? is a reflection of our increasingly solitary times, where technology that promises to connect us instead becomes a stand-in for real intimacy.
Sometimes pressing a button feels much easier than admitting you’re lonely. Downloading an app in the privacy of your one-bed feels less risky than actually reaching out to your friends to let them know you’d like to see them. But if the aim in the long run is to not die alone, surely the answer doesn’t lie in the App Store – it’s in building long-lasting friendships and relationships where people care enough to check in with you regularly, and vice versa. The good news is you don’t need to download an app for that.
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