The wait is finally over. After 5,468 days, England have won a Test match in Australia. With the Ashes already gone, this two-day heist in the sporting Cathedral that is the MCG was bittersweet for Ben Stokes and his players.
Sweet because any semblance of Ashes success in this country has been so long. In all there were 18 winless Tests between this and England’s last victory in Australia at Sydney on 7 January 2011.
Back then David Cameron was Prime Minister – one of six who’ve been in office during England’s barren run Down Under – Elizabeth II was queen, JLS were tearing it up in the UK singles charts and Jacob Bethell, who top scored for England during their chase of 175, was just seven.
Bitter because victory here against an ageing and weakened Australia team offered a glimpse into what might have been.
If only the preparation before the series had been better maybe England would still be in with a shot at Ashes glory.
Perth, where it all started nearly six weeks ago, was the tipping point. Leading by 105 with nine second-innings wickets in hand shortly after lunch on the second day, they lost their nerve and nine wickets for 99 to blow their big chance.
Had they seized that key moment, we might be sitting here at 2-2 heading into next week’s series finale in Sydney.
Instead, we have the odd juxtaposition of a winning England team whose celebrations must be peppered with so many regrets.
Perth was also a two-day shootout, with the bouncy Optus Stadium pitch proving too much for England’s undercooked batters.
But this Melbourne pitch that had 10 millimetres of grass left on it was something else altogether, with every player whose spoke afterwards saying it produced the toughest batting conditions they’d ever faced.
In terms of historical significance this series is the first since 1896 where two matches have finished inside two days.
Of the 2,615 Test matches ever played, this was just the 27th time this has happened.
Whether or not such surfaces are good for Test cricket or not is a debate that you could have until the cows come home.
But the fact this pitch, and England’s victory, will have enraged so many Australians probably means on balance it was a good thing.
Cricket Australia, already counting the cost of the early Perth finish that saw them lose £2.5million, are estimated to have lost £10m here thanks to the three days of lost revenue.
Ben Stokes has overseen many memorable run chases since taking on the captaincy in the summer of 2022. Not least two in excess 370 against India on home soil.
The fact that afterwards he said this was the most satisfying of them all spoke volumes. Indeed, under the circumstances and given the state of the pitch he likened it to a 340 chase.
No wonder. His team came into this match 3-0 down and with accusations they were harbouring a drinking culture after reports of the team’s mid-series break in Noosa blew up when footage of Ben Duckett surfaced on social media in the days leading up to this fourth Test.
Lesser teams would have perhaps folded but Stokes threw a protective blanket around Duckett and his other players. The results here spoke volumes.
In the grand scheme of things, England’s poor preparation and general lack of match awareness in the matches that really mattered in this series mean that heads should still role. Coach Brendon McCullum and managing director Rob Key are still in the firing line for their shoddy planning of this tour.
But this win underlines the fact that Stokes must carry on as captain until at least the 2027 home Ashes.
Nobody has given more to the team on this trip and when losing yet another bowler early on this second day after Gus Atkinson pulled up with a hamstring issue, he stepped up with ball in hand to take three for 24 as Australia subsided to 132 all out in their second innings.
Brydon Carse, rightly criticised on this trip for some wayward bowling performances, and Josh Tongue, whose seven wickets saw him named man of the match, were also key to this victory.
But it’s the leadership of Stokes that made it possible.
In all Australia lasted 79.5 overs across both innings, the shortest amount of time they have batted in a Test since Don Bradman’s debut in 1928.
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Duckett and Zak Crawley, whose 51-run opening stand was their highest of the series, also deserve immense credit. Bethell, too. At 22 he was thrust into an almost impossible situation here but his fearless 40 in 46 balls, including ramping the first ball after tea bowled by Scott Boland, justified the decision to recall him for Ollie Pope at No3.
England being England, though, meant Bethell actually only came out at No4 in the chase because Brydon Carse, a bowler who’d only once before batted at No3 in a T20 Blast game two years ago, was promoted to first drop as a pinch-hitter. He scored six. But the message was clear – Bazball is back.
Too little, too little maybe. But in the most chaotic game of cricket most English observers had ever seen, it all felt very apt.
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