The celebrity-on-celebrity podcast interview normally only goes one way – it’s a love in. However George Clooney’s appearance on Travis Kelce’s New Heights this week took any unexpected turn. It was a smug-off… and then a love-in.The subject of the mutual not-so humble bragging? Neither of them has ever had an argument with their respective partner.
The future Mr Taylor Swift asked his guest about the comments he made regarding wife of 10 years Amal back in 2020: “Everybody’s been slammed together because of the coronavirus and a lot of friends’ relationships have been tested. For us, it’s been really easy.” He has doubled down on his lack of conflict claim repeatedly since, telling CBS Mornings in April: “We still haven’t. We’re trying to find something to fight about.”
Now he told Kelce: “No, I’m not lying”, before adding: “Travis, shall we ask you the same questions?”
The host replied: “Well, it’s only been two and a half years, and you’re right. I haven’t gotten into an argument. Never once.”
What’s strange here is that it’s actually worse if they’re telling the truth. All couples need a good row now and then to clear the air.
Presumably the image these men are attempting to present is one of truly wedded – or in Travis’s case, engaged – bliss. A union so perfect that never a cross word is spoken. Instead, what they conjure up is a picture of a pair either both secretly seething with unspoken resentments, or where one party unquestioningly goes along with whatever the other one says, regardless of their true feelings, because the other party is Taylor Swift. Spoiler: neither option is ideal.
Admittedly, many of the stresses and irritations ordinary mortals experience in a relationship are magically eliminated when you’re famous. There are no money worries, they have endless help with childcare and housekeeping, and the freedom to do whatever they want, all the time.
But still, people are incredibly annoying. Put any of them in a house together, even a massive one, day after day, for years and years, and there is absolutely no chance that they won’t get on each other’s nerves eventually.
George reckons he’s above that though: “Neither of us are going to win the argument, so why get in? Dude, I’m 64 years old. And what am I going to argue about at this point? You know? I’ve met this incredible woman, she’s beautiful and smart, and she stands for all the most important things that I believe in in the world. And I can’t believe how lucky I am. So what am I going to fight about?”
This narrative of having to actively seek out something to fight about is less relatable than having a $10m holiday home in Lake Como. Ditto “I love them and am lucky to be with them so nothing they ever do is frustrating”. Plus the incredible restraint of recognising in the moment that neither of you are going to win, so simply rising above a row? Come off it!
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The truth is that squabbling over the small stuff not only lets off steam, it forces couples to acknowledge the important matters too. As the best therapist in the universe, Dr Orna Guralnik from the BBC TV series Couples Therapy says: “Let me see if I can save you the time of arguing about facts … it doesn’t work … Did it happen this way? Did it happen that way? … You’re not going to go anywhere with that kind of argument. Instead, let’s think about what’s really of importance to the two of you about this. What’s really at the heart of it.”
Because of course that barney over the way he always leaves dirty plates on top of the dishwasher instead of putting them in it – to pick a random, made-up example from the thin blue air – isn’t really about that. (Although the man in that imaginary example should still start putting his stuff in the dishwasher immediately if not sooner.) Underneath is usually a much bigger issue, and the only way to discover what is to get everything out in the open.
Feeling secure enough to disagree, then working through it and coming out the other side – even if you did stomp off for a bit in the middle – is surely the foundation for a healthy, lasting relationship. Anything else just isn’t real.Marriage isn’t like it is in the movies, even for those who star in them. It can be messy, complicated and infuriating – and personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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