One thing that will always be true in life, however much we rally against it, is that we can’t control what happens to us. However, we can control how we respond. This might sound simple, but if we accept this, life feels a lot less stressful.
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How we feel and therefore, our behaviours and sometimes the outcome of our actions, depends to an extent on our attitude. Attitude is an established way of thinking or feeling about a situation, person or thing. How does it come into being? Well, it’s a combination of the thoughts we have chosen to think and take on board (our beliefs), our emotions and the patterns of our recurring actions. We tend either to have a positive or negative attitude, and that can be pretty entrenched – until, that is, we are open enough to look at things afresh.
Our attitude can have an impact on our wellbeing in all kinds of ways; from being open to opportunities to how we interact in our relationships and the habits we develop. How we approach something can either be helpful or a hindrance. The good news is that once we are aware and realise our “bad attitude” is actually the problem rather than a particular person or situation, we can change it… and end up changing our lives in the process.
So what areas can we look at to improve our attitudes – and therefore our wellbeing?
1) Accept the weather
Did you know that we spend an average of more than two full days a year discussing the weather in the UK? Even though we may not want to go out in the rain and the wind, changing our attitude to getting outside is an essential part of staying well in winter, because it is important for our mood to get some natural daylight. Less sunlight affects our body’s internal circadian body clock and its ability to regulate chemicals such as serotonin, which affects our mood, and melatonin, our sleep hormone. That may be why we feel a drop in our mood during winter and can feel more lethargic.
Try changing your attitude to the rain or cold and get outside in the winter during daylight hours. Could you do a remote meeting while walking? Could you take a break and walk to the local shop or park at lunchtime? Could you take your friend’s dog out? Simply sitting by a window while you’re working can also help.
Be an introvert (Photo: Daniel de la Hoz/Getty/Moment RF)2) Embrace your inner introvert
Even if you consider yourself to be an extrovert – someone who gains their energy from social interaction and external activities – we all have an element of ourselves which is more introverted; where we are energised by quieter, environments and being on our own. Sometimes we can feel a little bit of Fomo (fear of missing out) if we turn down an invitation to see a friend, or cancel something. But the reality is that if we keep burning the candle at both ends, we will get burned out pretty quickly. A quiet night in can help reduce our blood pressure, heart rate and stress hormone levels. Silence and solitude can also help us to sleep better by encouraging melatonin production, and allow us to reflect more; process our feelings, be able to respond rather than react when stressful things happen and improve our resilience.
Some research has also shown that more silence can improve our brain’s cognitive ability, with new cell growth linked to learning and emotions. Change your attitude to having a quiet night in and embrace your inner introvert. Learn to love being on your own and think about the benefits it brings you. Try practising some meditation in silence and quiet; this has been shown to boost our mood and resilience.
3) Discover optimism
The world feels very harsh, uncertain and difficult at the moment. It is easy to become cynical and expect the worst. Somehow, though, for our own sake, we need to try to cultivate some hope and optimism. An optimistic attitude has been shown in research studies to improve life satisfaction, and having a sense of purpose has been linked to living longer and happier lives. So, how do we find it? Getting out in nature is one answer, especially in winter. We see signs of bareness, decline and scarcity, but we also see signs of new beginnings and nature working in perfect harmony, like the new buds that appear in parallel with the leaves falling on trees. All of these signs send us a message of hope; that newness and change is always on the horizon – that whatever is happening in our own lives, nature still goes on and it has perfect rhythm and timing and is in beautiful balance. This gives us a sense of trust in life, hope, optimism, a sense of permanency, certainty and renewal.
Optimism is the way to go (Photo: Ippei Naoi/Getty/Moment RF/Ippei & Janine Photography)4) Curb your expansionism
We are often told that to be successful we must be productive, busy and “doing” all the time; that this is the answer to how we will find happiness, and that if we don’t show outward signs of “moving forward” all the time, we are somehow failing. But life is busy and the pace at which we are required to work is unsustainable if we don’t put in some boundaries. “Busy all the time” raises our cortisol stress hormone, and makes us less effective. Society likes to persuade us that we should always be productive and our lives should get “bigger and better” and expand, expand, expand. This is unnatural.
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Life happens in cycles and we need to change our attitude to what is “success”, what “moving forward” means and to ensure we listen to what we actually need. We need to embrace rest and periods of stasis more; to stop and pause; to slow down, consolidate and be still. Desirable outcomes in life don’t just come from “doing”; they come from understanding where you are, what you want to change, and developing a healthy relationship with yourself. “Hibernating” for a while will improve your health, your resilience and your ability to make healthy choices and effective decisions.
5) Declutter your environment
Are any of these phrases common place in your home: “I’ll do it tomorrow”, “Keep that, it might come in useful one day”, or “I’ll sort it later”? We procrastinate often because the task ahead feels too overwhelming, we are scared of starting or we just feel exhausted. However, if we change our attitude to the physical environment we are in, we can actually feel a lot better. A tidy space helps us to feel less stressed and more relaxed, as there is less for our brain to try to focus its attention on. There has been some evidence that it may even help us make better decisions and boost productivity.
Decluttering can help us feel a sense of accomplishment and motivated. Would rearranging furniture, sorting your drawers or wardrobe or under your bed make your mind a bit clearer and make your home space calmer? Perhaps it’s those boxes of stuff, files or folders or the garage or shed that needs attention. That task or that tidy-up that you have been meaning to do or putting off could be done now and allow your nervous system to rest.
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