Ukiah’s gift to the world of art is Winston Smith. It remains to be seen how the world of art will repay Ukiah, but I doubt it will be pretty.
Perhaps the gods of 21st century art will cast a spell upon us that makes Lake Pillsbury go dry, or maybe a huge ugly new courthouse will rise up from hell to block the sun from the streets of Ukiah. Or maybe Susan Sher will be re-elected to city council.
Anyhoo, payback could come due as soon as November 7, the very date when Mister Smith arrives to put on a show at one of those First Friday affairs.
The ordeal will open at the Medium Art Center on School Street, 5-8 p.m., but you need not arrive early to get in. I’ve been to several of these events and they can be lonely affairs; Winston’s own mother has never come to any show I’ve attended and I doubt she’ll be at this one.
On the other hand if you arrive early you can eat all the cookies, drink a lot of the lemonade and have the opportunity to talk privately, and for a long long time, with the artiste himself. I promise he will be flattered.
(Ask him if he’s ever heard of an artist named Georges Braque or a writer named George Orwell.)
Winston Smith and I go way back, all the way to the time of offset printing, the Mendocino Grapevine newspaper and those carefree days when even talent-free volunteers could find work in journalism.
Winston’s contributions were single-panel collage art pieces that appeared on the editorial pages, while I invented the TWK character to write columns for me. To the astonishment of all, Grapevine circulation A) dropped and B) the paper went out of business.
But Winston went on to become famous and wealthy, whereas I went on to be a field worker on a North Carolina plantation. Tell me again how life is fair.
`His art has appeared in numerous classy magazines you’ve never read, and on record albums you and I would pay money not to listen to.
Winston’s alleged “art” consists of cutting original artworks into pieces, and reassembling them into creations new and different, but in ways never contemplated, and certainly never approved, by any of those original artists.
The people he poaches his stuff from are all dead, and that simply cannot be explained away as a long series of coincidences.
Example?
Suppose some long-dead painter did a portrait of a woman, called it “Mona Lisa” and hung it in an Italian museum. Well, Winston Smith might take that picture, cut out a mustache fashioned from a painting of Freda Kahlo’s eyebrows, draw a cigar in Ms. Lisa’s mouth, find a photo of an Oldsmobile dealership and place it in the background near a polluted river, turn the trees into telephone poles and put the whole garbled mess onto the cover of a record album that goes on to sell many many millions of copies by a band called The Dead Kennedys. And Winston Smith pockets another fat fortune.
All TWKing aside, let me say I’ve always loved Winston’s art, from his early Grapevine stuff (done with exacto knives by candlelight) to his New Yorker magazine cover and all the punk rock albums. He’s always fresh, funny and provocative, and it’s definitely an art opening to attend,
Tell him Tommy sent you and he’ll buy you a cookie. But hurry. Tickets are going fast, and there probably won’t be very many cookies.
LESSON LEARNED
My favorite politician, the grandiose and comprehensively dishonest George Santos, was recently released from prison thanks to a Trump pardon. I gave George a call to see how he’s doing and he said the experience taught him some valuable lessons.
“I finally figured out why I was expelled from the House of Representatives and sent to prison,” he said. “It’s because I’m black.”
INTRODUCING MARK SCARAMELLA
There’s no replacing Jim Shields, the distinguished columnist who graced the Ukiah Daily Journal’s Sunday opinion page for many years.
But Jim’s unexpected death left an opening and I believe the empty slot have been filled with the best possible candidate.
Mark Scaramella, longtime unsung hero of the Anderson Valley Advertiser, is manning the position and will bring a strong presence to the Daily Journal op-ed roster.
Scaramella (aka The Major) has been with the AVA for decades. His opinion writing is funny, punchy, incisive and droll. He is gifted at penetrating and understanding what Mendocino County’s governing officials are up to, especially when it’s information the county would prefer go undetected.
Common journalistic tricks Scaramella has never perfected: Bootlicking and punch-pulling.
Budget matters are a specialty, and there has never been a time since I’ve been around that unearthing budget secrets has been more needed.
It won’t take long for readers to appreciate his writing skills and deep knowledge of Mendocino County politics.
Welcome aboard, Mark.
Tom Hine writes the weekly ‘Assignment: Ukiah’ column but lets his imaginary friend, TWK, take the blame.
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