"Emotional intelligence (often called EQ or EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions while also recognizing and responding to the emotions of others," Dr. Shields explains. "In plain terms, it’s being smart about feelings (both yours and theirs)."She notes that emotional intelligence is generally broken down into four core skills:
Self-Awareness: "This is the foundation. It means you can accurately recognize your own emotions and understand why you're feeling them," she points out. "For example, realizing you're not just 'in a bad mood,' but you're actually anxious about an upcoming deadline is a sign of emotional intelligence."Self-Management: "This is what you do with that awareness. It's the ability to control your emotional reactions and impulsive behaviors," she reveals. "For instance, if you're having a feeling of a flash of anger, but you choose to take a breath and think before you speak."Social Awareness: "This is your ability to read other people," Dr. Shields shares. "It involves understanding their emotions, needs and concerns, often through non-verbal cues like tone of voice or body language. This is where empathy comes in."Relationship Management: "This is where you put it all together. It's the skill of using your awareness of your own and others' emotions to manage social interactions successfully, like resolving conflicts, communicating clearly and inspiring others," she states.8 Behaviors of People With Low Emotional Intelligence, According to Psychologists
"Not being self-aware of your current state of emotions—along with awareness of your triggers—and not having the ability to self-regulate heightened emotions, leads to a response that may be disproportionate to the context of the situation and is an example of behavior that signals low emotional intelligence," Dr. Zuckerman tells Parade.Dr. Shields agrees, adding that being able to manage and control one's emotions so that they don't have emotional outbursts when things go wrong is key to emotional intelligence."Getting stressed easily often indicates a deficit in emotion regulation, a core executive function," she shares. "Individuals with low emotional intelligence may struggle with poor affective forecasting, meaning they overestimate the duration and intensity of negative emotional states, causing them to perceive stressors as more catastrophic than they are. For example, they might experience a small work setback as a career-ending event because they lack the ability to down-regulate their initial panic and anxiety."Related: 12 Things Emotionally Intelligent Women Do That the Average Person Avoids, Psychologists Say
2. Avoiding emotional conversations
Jokes can be fun, especially when they are lighthearted and if you're in on it, but if they are at the expense of someone, it can be a sign that someone has low emotional intelligence."Making jokes at other people's expense points to a deficit in cognitive empathy, which is the capacity to understand another person's perspective and is a sign of low emotional intelligence," Dr. Shield tells Parade. "A person doing this may fail to model the other person's internal experience and accurately predict that the joke will be received as a social slight rather than as humor. For instance, they might tease someone about a minor mistake, not computing that they will likely experience public humiliation."
4. Being oblivious to other people's feelings
Another sign of low emotional intelligence that you can look out for is if someone holds grudges against a family member, friend or even a coworker, says Dr. Shields. "This demonstrates a failure of cognitive reframing, a key emotion regulation strategy," she tells Parade. "The individual becomes anchored to their initial, negative interpretation of an event and is unable to reappraise the situation from a different perspective. They might remain angry for years over a past slight because they are cognitively stuck, continuously replaying the original offense without updating their perception with new context."
6. Blaming others for their problems
One more sign that you or someone you know has low emotional intelligence? Their reaction! Similar to how stress can make someone with a low EQ freak out, they often have emotional outbursts in general, which can be a red flag. "Emotional outbursts can stem from low emotional granularity, which is the ability to differentiate emotions with precision," Dr. Shield says.
8. Behaving insensitively
If you or someone you know is lacking emotional intelligence, our experts say there are some things that may improve it.
2. Practice naming emotions more precisely
"Many people default to 'I’m mad, 'I’m sad' or 'I’m stressed,' but that lack of precision is exactly what makes emotions feel overwhelming," says Dr. Shields. "Building emotional granularity—the ability to distinguish between, say, irritated, disappointed, frustrated or ashamed—gives the brain a clearer roadmap. Research shows that people who can label their emotions more precisely are better able to regulate them. For example, realizing 'I’m anxious about tomorrow’s meeting' (not just 'in a bad mood') makes it easier to address the real cause."
3. Seek therapy
Related: 4 Social Cues Emotionally Intelligent People Always Notice
Sources:
Dr. Jaime Zuckerman (Dr. Z on Instagram) is a psychologist and narcissistic abuse expert.Dr. Jenny Shields is a psychologist and certified healthcare ethics consultant.Hence then, the article about 8 behaviors that instantly reveal someone has low emotional intelligence psychologists say was published today ( ) and is available on Parade ( Saudi Arabia ) The editorial team at PressBee has edited and verified it, and it may have been modified, fully republished, or quoted. You can read and follow the updates of this news or article from its original source.
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