No wonder so many people think it’s hard to find the right therapist – and that’s why, 12 years ago, I launched therapist-matching platform Welldoing. On Welldoing, or similar places like Counselling Directory and Psychology Today, you will find therapists who meet a high standard. They are members of organisations such as the BACP, UKCP and NCPS and will have completed the recommended years of training and clinical hours, are having regular supervision and continuing professional development (CPD). This should mean that you are in good hands. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t potential risks.
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In one extreme example, a client was awarded more than £200,000 in damages in a high court ruling after suing her therapist over alleged sexual assaults when she was in her mid-20s.
“Therapy is a nuanced and varied process that is fundamentally about building a constructive and trusting relationship in which clients can address and alleviate past and present distress,” says Alice McGurran, a gestalt therapist (a person-centred practice that focuses on the here and now).
Simply starting to see a professional won’t always progress as imagined. “It can seem to take a long time for anything much to happen, and you may feel that you are endlessly telling the same story, without getting the solution you had imagined you were aiming for.”
The therapeutic relationship is bound by a certain formality, so your therapist should not invite you to meet up outside sessions, talk too openly about their lives, or disclose information that isn’t relevant to your sessions together.
2. They offer unexpected physical contact
Therapists should not be repeatedly late or forget booked sessions. Yours is a professional relationship, so it’s also bad practice if they frequently run over time, or in any way imply you are getting special treatment.
4. They breach confidentiality
Clients are often prescribed drugs like antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication by GPs at the same time as having therapy. But therapists must work within their own competence or training. For example, it is unethical for a therapist to diagnose a client with a condition such as ADHD. This can only be done by a psychologist or doctor.
6. They don’t listen to your feedback
Therapists should be open about their training, and style of working. At the beginning of therapy, it’s a good idea to bring up anything that you think a therapist might not be comfortable or familiar with.
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square VEGETABLESRead More8. They encourage you to isolate yourself from loved ones
If you are considering breaking contact with close friends or family members, therapists should be thoughtful and measured. They should want to know the full story. Therapists are there to help you come to decisions, not to urge you to go ahead with everything that comes through your mind.
Therapists shouldn’t often comment on the way you look, present yourself, and definitely not your sexual appeal. Due to the intimate nature of the relationship, things may be construed as flirting that aren’t, and it’s not uncommon for people to develop feelings on some level for their therapist – but it is important that the therapist keeps the boundary in place.
10. They pressure you to continue sessions
11. They also treat someone you’re close to
Therapists should try to avoid seeing a client who is in some way connected to another client of theirs. In some communities this may be harder to realistically achieve than others, but it is important that a therapist is mindful of any risks of one client coming up in another’s therapy. Generally, if you see a couples therapist and also want to see a therapist for your self, it would be two separate therapists.
Louise Chunn is the founder of therapist-matching platform Welldoing.
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