One woman who has been flying the banner for single mum sex this week is Charlize Theron, who went on the Call Her Daddy podcast to promote her new TV show, and ended up spilling the beans on how she balances single parenthood with a fulfilling sex life.
I know plenty of women who never recovered their libido after they had babies and that’s probably a much easier way to live your life. But I, and apparently Theron, did not get that software upgrade when we became mothers. Theron has explained the joy of the one-night stand, saying: “I’ve probably had three one-night stands in my entire life. But I did just recently f*** a 26-year-old and it was really f***ing amazing.”
I came home from these evenings restored, refreshed and feeling infinitely more like myself. I often wish that I could bottle the way I felt after a really great date, and give a sip to my married friends who don’t have the option to swipe away the baby blues.
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And while those concerns are, in part, fair (bringing strangers home for a one night stand while your kids are there would not be ideal), it sometimes seems like those warnings are more intended to slut-shame than to actually support.
The brilliance of Theron, and why I would be willing to vote for her as Head of the Single Parent Union (if we ever find the time to found one) is the way that she balances the need to get laid with safe and appropriate boundaries for her kids.
There are already plenty of people on the internet, mostly with anonymous social media accounts or in comment sections, who are objecting to Theron’s interview, horrified that she might celebrate casual sex with a hot younger man, take evenings out of her family life to enjoy sex, and also be able to enjoy the love, security and joy that comes from motherhood.
It seems that for some people, the idea that women are allowed to have both, and that they are capable of balancing those two things at the same time, is either impossible to believe or impossible to tolerate. But I’m afraid to say, frustrating as it might feel to anyone who did give up their sex life when they became a parent, it is entirely possible to have both. In fact it’s not just possible – it’s also really, really good fun.
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