There are steps you can take to break out of the cycle. Some are physical—getting out into nature more, getting more exercise, or socializing with people in person—but you’ve also got the most powerful happiness engine in the universe inside your head. You can use your own mind to trick yourself into being happier—though it’s important to note that while these tips can help anyone reset their outlook and elevate their mood, they’re not a substitute for formal therapy or medication.
Studies have shown that you can treat happiness like a muscle. A strategy called “reward sensitivity” means actively noticing positive emotions and taking the time to relish them. If something makes you happy, even momentarily, take a moment to record and catalog the feeling. Then seek it out again. Being aware of what makes you feel good and pushing yourself to relive that experience can train you to be happier in general.
Use the "behavioral activation" technique
Behavioral Activation is a technique where you do these pleasurable activities even when you don’t feel like doing them. You might not enjoy that specific run (or doing laundry, or engaging with hobbies) that instance, but simply by consistently engaging in that behavior your mood will improve. If you begin scheduling activities that should bring you joy, you can “train” your mind to be happier in reality.
Socratic questioning has been studied in the context of a therapist doing the questioning, but there are also worksheets that you can use to try out this technique on your own.
Use the "One Minute Rule"
Practice compassion
Compassion—empathizing with someone else’s suffering and seeking to help—can be learned, and studies have shown that people who “practice compassion” toward others are happier—and more resilient. There’s also evidence that turning that inward and practicing self-compassion has a direct relationship with your happiness. While it might initially seem silly, writing yourself a note or giving yourself a supportive speech as if you were talking to your best friend can have a real and powerful impact on your happiness. Practicing self-compassion can also include treating yourself, offering yourself little kindnesses.
Being unhappy and depressed often leads us to be self-critical, constantly castigating ourselves for our shortcomings. Flipping that script and constantly reminding ourselves how great we actually are helps to recalibrate our thinking, leading to more happiness.
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