In 2025, health is wealth, and young people are leading the glossy vanguard. Quite a distance from frittering away their pertest years in glorious delinquency, as tradition has hitherto dictated, a full 43 per cent of 18- to 34-year-olds in the UK have given up alcohol altogether. Meanwhile, just 12 per cent of adults now smoke, compared to 45 per cent in 1974. Worst of all, everyone is clad in athleisure-wear, as though they might bolt for a spin class at any second.
Although Hackney locals are up in arms, they arguably only have themselves to blame – after all, the switch from boozer to boulangerie is driven by consumer demand. If you buy lots of fancy coffee, cafes spring up – and if you don’t go to pubs, they shut down.
As someone who came of age before the country’s current health obsession kicked in, I worried that pregnancy and its attendant sobriety would put paid to my social life – but while I am pleased to report that friends and hangouts continue to be as life affirming as ever, that’s largely thanks to pubs’ uniquely convivial atmosphere.
While I’m aware that people meet up in cafes, they’re nothing compared to a pub for a proper catch up – the pleasure of settling in for hours, with nothing to do but chat, is somehow something only a pub can offer; turns out it’s just as sweet when one of you is nursing a ginger beer.
Even as their numbers dwindle, they remain the settings for our most heartfelt conversations, our most pivotal meetings and celebrations; for maintaining the friendships that see us through life’s ups and downs. As settings, they are as enriching for an octogenarian as a new baby – certainly, I plan to take mine to one as soon as logistics/sleep deprivation permits.
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Not only are pubs fast adapting to our abstemious preferences – I personally recommend a Virgin Mary, Guinness 0, or Botivo if you’re feeling fancy – but each one lost leaves a hole in a high street that a Gail’s just can’t fill, no matter how sour its dough.
Grab some friends, run to your local, and buy a round before it’s too late – mine’s a lime soda (for now).
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