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Importantly, though, she emphasizes that it's best when this phrase comes from a therapist rather than a pal or family member.
While it may not be helpful if you use this phrase on a friend, Dr. McGeehan suggests considering your therapist's words if they use "The only way out is through." She says therapists will often use it when:
Someone is already safe and resourced enough to face their emotionsThey're holding space for someone doing deep internal workPairing it with attunement and support (not pressure)Reminding a client of inviting them to heal sans pressure3 Reasons To Use 'The Only Way Out Is Through'
2. Encourages emotional presence
You don't have to bury emotions. Instead, feel them to unpack them."Especially in trauma recovery or grief work, the phrase gently suggests that emotions are meant to be felt and metabolized, not bypassed," Dr. McGeehan says. "This can be helpful when a person becomes avoidant and does not want to feel their emotions."
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Generally, Dr. McGeehan advises against using this phrase when:
Someone is in crisis or dysregulatedYou’re not in a therapeutic relationship The person is signaling “not now” and needs space or stabilization firstYour discomfort with the other person’s emotions is what’s driving you to push them toward feeling their emotions3 Reasons Not To Use 'The Only Way Out Is Through'
1. Invalidates survival strategies
Healing isn't a cookie-cutter process."Some need internal stabilization first," Dr. McGeehan explains. "Others need to focus on external safety before emotional processing."Again, she says letting therapists keep this phrase is best.
3. Can become spiritual bypassing in disguise
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2. "It’s OK to feel what you’re feeling—whatever it is."
This phrase offers the gift of validation."This creates psychological safety and softens the shame around ‘not being over it,'" Dr. McGeehan says. "It invites presence without pressure."
3. "You don’t have to do this alone."
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Source:
Dr. Brittany McGeehan, Ph.D., licensed psychologist Read More Details
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