Network Rail sums up everything that is wrong with customer service ...Middle East

You may have wondered whether your train was going to be on time, or indeed arrive at all, or whether you would get a seat for your £5,000-a-year season ticket, but the precise nomenclature for addressing those who travel by train? I very much doubt it will have registered as a concern.

It’s hard to know where to start unpicking this, given that no gender is assumed by the word passenger, but perhaps the title of this handbook gives some clue as to the risible nature of the exercise. It’s called “Speak Passenger”. And it’s subtitle is not: “But don’t call them passengers!”

“To put passengers first, we have to speak their language,” says Andrew Haines, the chief executive of Network Rail. “Whoever we’re talking to, whatever the situation.”

Thanks Avanti - your delays mean I never pay for trains anymore

In answer to criticism from Lord Goddard of Stockport about the service from London to Manchester, this is what a spokesperson for Avanti West Coast, which operates the line, said: “Across November and December, we were responsible for 21.7 percent of delays. Further delays were due to infrastructure failures which is why we continue to work in close partnership with Network Rail to address the infrastructure challenges on our network to make sure our customers get the service they deserve.”

So any initiative to treat customers, or passengers, or even “you”, like real people, who have paid real money, and have real journeys to make, should be welcomed. I just don’t think it will achieve Network Rail’s ambition to make their customers (let’s agree to call them that) feel like they are getting a better service.

In fact, if we think we are being humoured – “We’re so sorry, you’ve had a long day, it’s cold and miserable, and now a tree’s fallen on the line and your train’s been cancelled. What a bummer” – it might make things worse.

It is a simple conundrum to answer, and in language everyone can understand. Just make the bloody trains run on time!

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