Content warning: The following story contains mentions of sexual assault and suicide. "I'm afraid if I don't cry, they're going to think I'm lying, and if I cry, I'm going to appear too emotional," I nervously said to Meena*, an assistant district attorney. It had been four months since I found videos online of myself being raped by my ex. In July 2019, the morning I returned to New York from a six-month solo backpacking trip, I woke up to an Instagram message from someone I had met while traveling in Hungary. "Hey, I think this is you," he said, with a link attached. When I clicked, I found a nonconsensual pornographic video of myself. I knew this had been posted by my ex, Jason, whom I ha
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