My first memory of him is as my baby brother — “Don’t wake the baby.” I don’t think I was a particularly loud kid. But as the firstborn and big brother, I grew up giving orders. In general, I was a benevolent dictator. As an upperclassman and varsity football player, he eventually weighed more than I ever did. But he was still known as my little brother — a big little brother. We graduated and went to different colleges, chose different careers. Each of us got married, began our families in cities far apart. Brothers speak many languages and not all of them with words. When you’re younger and living under the same roof, you might come to blows. As adults, across distance and time, silence ca
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