Ever since I can remember, I always wanted to be a mother. For years, I struggled to get pregnant. After two miscarriages and a stillbirth, I wondered if God had ever meant for me to be a mother. When I finally gave birth to my son, Jordan, I was overjoyed. Jordan, this tiny bundle of warmth in a baby blanket, represented all I had wanted for myself and my growing family. The first few months of motherhood feel like a completely new life. The waves of gratitude and adoration come frequently, but the feelings of fear and dread should the worst happen are close behind. The nights are long and sleepless; we sat together, bathed in the glow of his nightlight, and lulled each other to slee
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